How to Find Confidence in Your Writing
From someone who wrote anonymously for 2 years
Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash
did you grow up dreaming of being a writer when you got older, but never actually showed your writing to anyone?
That was me for a long time. Writing poem after poem, story after story, and keeping it hidden away.
I was terrified of rejection, of someone saying I could never be a writer. I was scared of what my friends and family would think, and even worse — I was scared of the forced compliments they’d give me because they thought they had to.
But eventually, my feelings around it changed and I learned to embrace my work, because it’s a huge part of who I am.
Here’s how I did it, and how you can do it, too.
Share your work on social media first.
Hear me out on this one!
If you’re like me, it’s less terrifying to share your piece with (potentially) thousands of people on social media, than it is to hand it to a friend or relative and watch as they read it in front of you.
(If you’re not like me, and you’ve moved past the fear of sharing your work with your family and friends, that’s amazing! I hope you are taking advantage of social media marketing.)
When I started college, I decided that I was done keeping my work to myself. I created an anonymous blog on Tumblr and started sharing my work.
And people started reading, slowly but surely. I received positive comments, and was even encouraged to publish a book of poetry.
This helped me gain so much confidence, because I had never received feedback on my work before.
Of course, you don’t have to write anonymously to do this. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t, because I lost out on building name recognition for a couple years. However, it was what I needed to do to feel safe sharing my work.
Ask a writer whose opinion you respect.
This one’s scary, because you risk getting criticism, but remember that it’s just one person in a private conversation. Plus, they might provide really helpful advice that could impact your writing skills.
When I self-published my first poetry book, I still hadn’t shared my work with friends or family. It was about a week into my book being published, and I messaged one of my favorite poets, Amanda Lovelace, and asked if she wanted to read my book.
(Note: This was over three years ago. Today, I personally wouldn’t recommend this approach unless it is a writer you know well and someone you engage with regularly. Authors do not owe you a free review of your work!)
Anyway, Amanda answered, read the book, and even left a kind review.
This was the boost of encouragement I needed to share my book with my family the very next day.
Embrace criticism.
When I received my first negative review, I cried (and it really wasn’t even that mean of a review, to be honest).
Since then, I’ve received other feedback that wasn’t so nice, and I was able to brush it off without having to grab a box of tissues.
Why?
I learned two things since I started sharing my writing publicly:
Reviews are for readers, first and foremost. As the writer, we can look at them and learn from them if we choose to, but they are not written for us. They’re written to give readers their perspective.
For every negative review or comment, there are plenty of people who leave positive reviews and comments. You can’t please everyone. But, you can accept that everyone has an opinion and embrace the fact that people are giving your writing a chance.
Take time to develop your voice.
Like with any other skill, the more you write, the more confident you’ll become. If you’re not confident at all with your writing today, don’t expect to be confident tomorrow.
It can take months — even years — to feel happy with your writing. And that’s okay.
It’s also okay if you choose to write privately for a while, and it’s okay if you choose to share everything you write with the world.
Writers never stop developing their own unique voice. Mine has changed countless times, even just over the last five years. But regardless, I’ve learned to be confident in what I have to say.
I hope these tips help you!
if you are looking to build your voice as a poet and learn more about publishing, writing, and more, join my poetry community: the poetry club.