healing with self-love after trauma
with női lélek
In the latest episode of small steps to self-love, i interviewed poet női lélek about her self-love journey after experiencing assault. we talked about healing from that, finding love for yourself, reclaiming what is yours, speaking up, and so much more.
Content warnings: Please note that this episode touches on topics of assault, eating disorders, self-harming and suicidal thoughts.
This episode
In this episode, női and i discussed her writing journey and the theme of finding self-love after trauma. Női has been writing poetry for as long as she can remember but turned to it after her third failed suicide attempt and has written at least one poem every day since. She talks about how her pen name, női lélek, is a tribute to her Hungarian roots and how the name translates to Female Soul. The name choice holds meaning to the poet as it symbolizes finding a new love and a new appreciation for my femininity.
női lélek’s poetry collection, All My Favorite Men Are Dead, was written about her experience with assault and healing from that trauma. She said that many of her poems are about the death of the person she was before the assault, and how she has taken the memories of her experiences and used those positive memories and the things that she loved most about herself to form the person she is today.
We also talked about how our self-love journeys both started without us realizing it. Női said she grew up loving self-love quotes that she’d find online, completely agreeing with their messages, but was still having a lot of negative internal dialogue towards herself. Her biggest piece of advice is to tell yourself ‘I love you’ every night before you go to bed and every morning ask yourself how you're doing. She says, “Be the best mom to yourself.”
Throughout the episode, Női reads a few of her poems, one of which titled “A Trauma Legacy” speaks powerfully about reclaiming the anger she experienced after her assault, reminding herself and others that you have the right to be angry from the trauma you’ve been through.
From another one of her poems titled “Me Too”, a few lines at the end resonate strongly with me and I wanted to share them with you here as well.
“i hope it helps
in some small way
to know this world has also broken me
and yet, somehow
still
i continue to be”
- női lélek
small step
One of the things we talked about was reclaiming your name so I want to encourage everyone listening to write their own reclaiming poem. It doesn't have to be a poem, it doesn't have to rhyme, it can be a journal entry or even just a thought dump on the page. Reclaim something that someone took from you or something that someone thought they took from you but it's been there all along. If you feel comfortable, let me know how it feels to write about this in the comments or in a review for the podcast or send me a voicemail here!
where to listen
we talked about much more in the podcast episode, and női lélek read a few poems you don’t want to miss! tune in through the links below or on your favorite podcast site!
thank you for tuning into another episode of the small steps to self-love podcast! remember to give yourself compassion and kindness wherever you are in your healing journey.